Running Back and Forth to a Former Lover

Dear Annie: My love life is a disaster. Ten years ago, I had a long-distance relationship with a lady. On Thanksgiving night, I was on the couch with her struggling with whether I should propose. I sensed that my employer would soon cut my job and I would not be able to support either her or myself. Two minutes before my ride home showed up, she asked me whether I had thought about marriage. Stammering, I replied, “I wanted to make sure I had tenure first.” I didn’t get a chance to explain my answer.

The next time I saw her, I accidentally rubbed her the wrong way. In the very second I was about to explain how employment uncertainty had caused my answer regarding marriage, she got up and ran out the door. Two days later, I was laid off. Finding long-term employment has been a 10-year struggle. Seeing as both of us wanted marriage and employment issues were what got in the way, should I try contacting her or let things be? — Former Lover

Dear Former Lover: Before you contact her, get in touch with yourself. Are you sure you’re not just using this woman as a lifeline in the “disaster” that is your current love life? Because that wouldn’t be fair to her. If you are truly in love with this woman and ready to finally commit, call her today, right now. See whether she’ll meet with you so you two can sit down and finish this conversation once and for all. No more running out the door, literally or figuratively.

Good luck.