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Offering Thanks This Year With a Humble Heart

This week I challenged our students to give thanks. I asked them not to allow “thanks” to be a cursory, single-syllable, mindless reaction, but to pause and acknowledge the reason for their gratitude. I reminded them that we benefit in so many ways when we take stock of our blessings.

I’ll start.

To the children at Wheeling Country Day School, thank you. Whenever I question my ability to take a risk, I remember to leap and the net will appear. You are my net. If I fall, you will catch me with your unconditional love. And in the failing, we will all learn. If I succeed, you will elevate me to rock star status by calling out my name.

But there are also thousands of kindnesses beyond that. Thank you for sharing your Nilla Wafers with me. Thank you for teaching me how important it is to stimulate the brain of an animal in a zoo. Thank you for the love note you left. Thank you for reaching up to link your fingers in my hand when I walk next to you. Thanks for dissecting the fish and letting its heart sync with mine. Thanks for asking a difficult question that throws off the lesson plan. Thanks for noticing when I am gone and unabashedly admitting you missed me. Thanks for choosing kind. And Andy, thanks for finishing your Country Day career the way you began it , with a daily hug.

Since holidays like this mark time in our lives, I have so much to be thankful for in the past year. I have been carried through by my friends and family. Thank you for picking up at 2 a.m. It calmed the storm. Thanks for trusting me on the joy ride. Thank you for chatting over Saturday morning coffee, when we use the wisdom of 50 years to make sense of what is right in front of us. Thanks for making the trip. Thanks for making breakfast … and ribs. Thanks for bringing the wood and then lighting the fire. Thanks for sending that song; it plays on repeat as often as I need it. Thank you for staying late after everyone else was gone. Thanks for being my brother from Poplar Avenue. You have reminded me that I was never alone. Thanks for leaning in and asking how I am and expecting more than “better” for an answer. Thanks for being my unexpected joy and taking my breath away as I marvel at your kindness.

Then there is the gratitude for my girls. Thanks for eating almost everything I cook and for the honesty when it tastes like dirt. Thanks for asking for one more hug or kiss when I turn out the light even if you are just prolonging bedtime. Thanks for rolling your eyes at me. It keeps me humble. Thanks for the one-liners that make me burst out laughing. Thanks for the morning everyone makes it into the car by 7:20. Thanks for sliding that note under my door and bringing back to mind what is important. Thanks for stomping and slamming things, so I know you need my attention. Thanks for trying to keep your clothes off the floor. Thanks for sharing me with so many other children. Thanks for that bear hug when you needed me to know I am loved. Thanks for rocking out with me in the morning and for sometimes walking out shaking your head. Thanks for the fairy tale.

Finally, thank you for reading this, which in turn allows me to write this column. It may impact your thoughts, but it gives me so much more. It allows me to be vulnerable, offering you a window to my soul as a mother and a head of school. I sometimes forget anyone reads it but me.

My prayer at the Thanksgiving table was honest. Thank you for the joy and thank you for the sorrow. We cannot only wish for one, for both make a life worth living.

Happy Thanksgiving. I hope you find great joy giving thanks.

Elizabeth Hofreuter is head of school at Wheeling Country Day. She is a graduate of Princeton University and Harvard University Graduate School of Education. She has two daughters, ages 9 and 13.

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