Can You Have A Shower Post-nuptials?

DEAR ABBY: My younger sister is planning a destination wedding this summer. Recently she had a courthouse wedding for health insurance purposes because she’s going back to school full-time.

I am the matron of honor and she also has a maid of honor (which I am confused about; can you have both?). She is still planning her destination wedding because she won’t consider herself “really married” until the formal ceremony. Save-the-date notices were already sent.

I told her I didn’t feel comfortable throwing a bachelorette party since she’s already married. She was fine with it, and mentioned the maid of honor may have a bonfire with their friends.

I thought a lingerie bridal shower would be nice since they have been living together for some time and don’t need household items. Is a bridal shower appropriate after a wedding? I feel it should be lightheartedly disclosed on the bridal shower invitation that they are already married. Is this OK? — JESSICA, MATRON OF HONOR

DEAR JESSICA: If you wish to throw a lingerie shower, I think it would be sweet, although showers are technically not supposed to be hosted by family members. Her friends would probably enjoy it. But to disclose on the invitation that your sister is already married — lightheartedly or not — would be in poor taste.

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

COMMENTS