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Birthdays Mark Time

Birthdays mark time. They are benchmarks and anniversaries for a life well-lived. They offer friends an opportunity to remind us that we are loved and remembered — especially with the ease of sending birthday greetings through social media.

Nothing compares to a birthday celebrated with children, however. Trust me. On Wheeling Country Day’s campus you are a rock star for a day. Preschoolers rush you and hug in a mass until the scrum feels like it is going to fall sideways and collapse into a heap of smiles. No matter whose birthday it is, there are cupcakes, icing-stained tongues, and laughter. The person of honor may don a crown, a special ribbon or a full sash. It is the unabashed simplicity of saying to the world — today is my day. I am proud of it.

As we grow older, we lose that birthday swagger. No longer willing to claim the center of attention for ourselves, we shrug off the celebration or look for ways to hide from the limelight.

Truth is, we need at least one day each year during which we celebrate ourselves. Think of it as an exercise in acknowledging our self-worth and opening our hearts for others to remind us of our value in their lives. In a time when we focus on scarcity — what we don’t have — what a good habit to stop and take stock of all there is for which to be grateful.

I wish everyone’s birthday included the final scene from “It’s a Wonderful Life,” where crowds of friends rush the room to share the positive impact one life has had on another. In first or second grade you still get that. But with each year that passes, we lose the zeal.

Let us try to once again to be inspired by children. Let’s practice the art of receiving and acknowledging it all with a sincere thank you and a wide smile. Let’s use this one day to know our worth, to ask for what we want or need, to put ourselves first. Let’s show the world how we deserved to be treated by how we treat ourselves.

I am blessed. I celebrated my 51st birthday surrounded by children who expect nothing less than my being genuinely joyful, and who deserve for me to smile broadly with gratitude in response to their well wishes. Rightly so, they want me to show them what pride in my life looks like.

If we practice all of this, maybe we will make it a habit to live our lives fully — every day. That is the gift to give ourselves, but also a gift to our children who are watching the ways we live our lives.

Elizabeth Hofreuter is head of school at Wheeling Country Day. She is a graduate of Princeton University and Harvard University Graduate School of Education. She has two daughters, ages 9 and 14.

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