Trying Out For the Team

Editor, News-Register:

Recently, my grandson approached me and said, “Pap, I am going to try out for a Little League team. What position should I try out for?”

Well, I said, when you get to the try-out place, you will see four or five adults gathered around the head coach. They call themselves assistant coaches. They are friends of the head coach. They are there to ensure that their sons get play. Find out what positions their sons play and don’t go out for those positions because you won’t get to play.

Go out for the outfield. The coaches’ sons never play the outfield – too much running after the ball.

Never try out for the pitching position – the head coach’s son always pitches.

Go out for catcher – the coaches’ sons never catch. Too much like work.

Good luck. You are going to need it.

Have you ever noticed when a group picture of the team is published in the newspaper?

In the last row are the assistant coaches. Their last names are like Smith, Jones, White and Brown. In the other rows are the team players. Some of the players’ last names are Smith, Jones, White and Brown.

See what I mean?

My next letter concerns the behavior of parents at these games – I call them the Folding Chair Brigade – also, how some of the alleged coaches behave at these games.

Jerry Morris