Making a Good Investment

Editor, News-Register:

A couple of years ago I noticed that the price of lawn fertilizer had taken quite a jump. I didn’t buy any; my lawn can rough it for a while. But I wondered if there was an investment opportunity in there somewhere.

I started poking around and discovered that the key seemed to be potash. It looked like price fixing. I looked up potash companies and after analyzing data saw that I was running late to catch the gravy train but there seemed to be room left to make money on it. I compared several companies and settled on two, one in Canada and one in Russia. Since I had yet to accept that Russia has changed, I started leaning toward Potash Corporation of Canada, ticker symbol POT.

Hmmm, I thought. POT. It grows, and it’s bound to take me higher. I loved the idea of calling my broker and telling him to buy me some POT. So I did. With luck that phone call set off our government spies and they can chase their tails. I sat on the POT for about two weeks. Then that company over in Russia, the one I didn’t buy into, decided that it would be to their advantage to break the cartel. The irony in this is that if they were still Commies they wouldn’t have broken the cartel. It took Russian capitalism to screw me. I have a long history of being screwed by American capitalists; this was my first Russian.

Anyway, I now had the blues. The price of potash plummeted in the commodities market and POT dropped $8/share in one day. The best way to get over the blues was obvious, buy more POT. I doubled my stake in POT. For a time it looked like a bad move but lately POT has been getting me higher. It pays a good dividend as well. The Canadian taxes are chopped right off what I owe the IRS.

So if you have found yourself in financial doubt, just buy yourself some POT.

And relax.

David A. Becker