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We Need Those Expressions of Love From Others

When I was growing up there was a famous song that came out with words that went something like this:

“What the world needs now is love, sweet love

“It’s the only thing that there’s just too little of

“What the world needs now is love, sweet love

“No, not just for some but for everyone

“Lord, we don’t need another mountain

“There are mountains and hillsides enough to climb

“There are oceans and rivers enough to cross

“Enough to last ’till the end of time …”

This song was written in 1965 by Hal David and Burt Bacharach. The story is told that it was written earlier, but Hal David got stuck on the lyrics for the verses and put it away in a drawer. It was brought back out when they were short on songs for a recording session. It was originally offered to Dionne Warwick, but she turned it down. Jackie DeShannon was the first to record it and Dionne Warwick later recorded it in 1966 for her album “Here Where There Is Love.”

We are all creatures of need. We were born that way. Our needs aren’t excessive, but if they aren’t met, we hurt … or die.

We need food, water, air, clothing and shelter. We need something worthwhile for which to live and above all, we need to love, and feel loved. And without giving and receiving love, we limp along in the shadows of life. It is said that we can become physically and mentally ill, or die before our time.

Time magazine reports that “health studies have long shown that single, widowed and divorced people (who are lonely; everybody in those situations is not necessary lonely) are far likelier prey for disease than married folk. Some examples: The coronary death rate among widows between 25 and 34 is five times that of married women in the same age group. At all ages, the divorced are twice as likely as the married to develop lung cancer or suffer a stroke.”

What does all this mean? It simply means that as creatures of need, we cannot live without love and companionship. Love and companionship are indispensable needs that every human being has. If this vitally essential need goes unmet, we suffer dire consequences. We hurt, we become ill, or we die before our time.

Yes, the need to love and feel loved is indispensable!

Some years ago, Reader’s Digest had an unusually moving article entitled, “The Awesome Power of Human Love.” It described how the medical profession found that little babies and small children require affection, kisses, hugs and tenderness in order to grow and develop at a normal rate.

Since then, many studies have been made and many other articles written to confirm this fundamental truth. The power of human love is awesome. Its effect on people is important as good food and clothing, sunshine and fresh air are, all put together!

Babies and children must have constant affection and encouragement to develop the right kind of confidence and sense of worth and the capacity to feel and express affection themselves. Even though this may seem so obvious to some, it is, sadly one of the most neglected areas of child rearing!

Parents must learn to hold, kiss, cuddle and encourage not only their babies, but their younger children as well. The habit of touching, hugging and physically expressing affection to our children is something one should never outgrow!

Yet, how many parents have been emotionally crippled in this respect? Men too often have been taught to be the strong, silent types. By example and inference, males in the English-speaking world were taught that it is not proper for he-men to kiss and cuddle their young children — especially their boys.

When I was growing up, I used to ask my father why he did not say I love you to me or my siblings. When we would I say I love you to him, his answer was “thanks.” I day when I was bold and knew I wasn’t in striking distance I asked him why he never used the words, “I love you.” His answer was, “He said it all the time.” I asked him, “When?” because I didn’t remember him ever saying it. His answer was, “Every time you see food in the refrigerator that’s me saying I love you. Do you feel the heat? I love you. Do you sleep in a bed last night? I love you.”

My father’s language of love at least to me was acts of service, but it is awfully nice to hear the words every now and then.

Perhaps we do not realize that for centuries, it has been customary for countless millions of fathers in the Middle East and in the Latin world to kiss and/or embrace even their grown sons!

New stories have been told of the formation of a Hug Club in California.

The club contends that hugging will make us healthier and it encourages members to hug a friend, a pet, and especially someone they don’t like!

Club literature claims that hugging “helps remove depression,” “relieves tension and stress,” “creates a stronger will to live,” and “tunes up the body’s support systems.”

The Club says it works even if you hug yourself! And so, another bumper sticker may be added to the many others seen today. This new one would be, “Have You Hugged Yourself Today?”

Guest columnist Cummings is pastor of Bethlehem Apostolic Temple in Wheeling and Shiloh Apostolic Temple in Weirton.

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