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Attention Candidates . . .

May 29, 2012 - Joselyn King
I wish to advise candidates for office regarding a disturbing disease that's been especially evident this election year. It's called Kym "Kar-bash-he/him" syndrome.

The symptoms are fairly simple/stupid -- a propensity to spout mindless drivel carefully crafted (plastic surgeoned) to please the masses -- while continually bashing your opponent.

It makes you look like a big a..., we'll, you know.

Throw the party playbook away. If you have to use it, you're probably already on your way to defeat based on past experience. Those Washington types only think they know what works politically in West Virginia and East Ohio.

Here is some very important campaign advice, and I won't even charge you for it: EVERYTIME YOU SAY YOUR OPPONENT'S NAME YOU ARE GIVING HIM/HER FREE PUBLICITY.

At the very least, don't refer to your opponent by name. Simply call them, "my opponent." And that's only if you feel the need to call to people's attention they've been in office 116 years, and nothing has improved.

And try saying something inspiring. Give people hope that voting for you might somehow make their lives better. Just saying.


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