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Never take a kid to a mattress store and other lessons learned

September 30, 2013 - Betsy Bethel
Lessons learned (or reinforced) this weekend:

If you don't want to be consumed with worry every time your husband makes his daily commute to Pittsburgh, don't ever make the drive with him.

If you're going to attend the Barnesville Pumpkin Festival, don't ever do it on a Saturday at noon. Traffic was backed up at least two miles down 800, parking was painfully scarce, and the streets and sidewalks were packed. Oh, and while at the festival, or any festival, if you're going to buy 20 ride tickets for two kids, make sure there is more than one ride they want to go on. (The only up-side, I got my pumpkin ice cream!!! Yum!)

Moms will go to great lengths to make their kids happy. I crashed a birthday party to find a playmate for Emma on Saturday. (True story.)

Like potty training, loose teeth will only fall out when the time is right, and the more you try to speed up the process, the longer it will take (although we haven't tried the soccer ball to the mouth yet ...).

Speaking of soccer, do whatever it takes to avoid "helping" the soccer coach with the player rotation. Plead illiteracy, blindness, muteness, leprosy. Whatever ... it ... takes. Because if you mess up, it is now YOUR fault if Johnny didn't get to play defense or Susie played center twice; and, now you have the parents AND the coach giving you the stink-eye.

Don't ever assume the same soccer socks your child has been wearing the first four weeks of the season will be acceptable the fifth week.

If you have an unsecured balloon in the car, don't open a window on the highway. Obvious, but apparently not to a 7-year-old. The fit she threw afterward took four years off her life (the past four ... you know, she acted as if she were 3 again ... oh, never mind) — and took a few off mine in the process.

Never take a child mattress shopping. Ours didn't jump on any of the beds, to my amazement; but, she could not leave the remote controls alone. She would lie cross-wise on a bed and make the head and the feet go up and then yell across the store, "Look, Mom! Look! It's crushing me!" It was funny the first time. The 15th time, not so much.

 
 

Article Comments

(1)

Beaverhausen

Oct-03-13 4:01 AM

Sugar Daddies will remove loose baby teeth with ease. I taught Kindergarten for years, and this works every time, and rather quickly, too. LOL.

 
 

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