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Murphy's Laws of Parenting

June 30, 2008 - Betsy Bethel
This probably has been done, but I thought I'd add my two cents.

— The ice cream truck will come tootling up the street at 6 p.m., just as you're trying to entice your toddler to eat her steamed broccoli.

— You will be changing the stinkiest, messiest diaper bomb when you remember you're out of wipes.

— Just when your youngster gets himself worked into the tantrum-to-end-all-tantrums, your mother-in-law will call (thank God for caller ID)!

— As soon as you start to drift to sleep after a marathon bedtime session, your tot will call out, "I need a drink of water!" (for the third time).

— Your child will wait until you've detailed your car before he suffers his first bout of carsickness.

— Your baby will wait until you have a tremendously busy day at work to come down with croup.

— When you have the car packed, the snacks handy, the DVD player rolling and have put the car in reverse to pull out of the driveway for your vacation destination, that's when your baby will poop in her diaper.

— After you've painstakingly explained to your youngster that she cannot have "X" (a cupcake, a violent game, a Bratz doll, whatever), her best friend will show up for a play date with said contraband to share.

— When you receive a windfall that will finally allow you to buy that game system or swing set or pool for your children, the refrigerator will blow up.

— Your toddler will discover the glorious art of making mud pies right before your dinner guests arrive.

And last but not least ...

— You've just succeeded in getting one out of diapers when you find out another one is on the way.

(Not me, by the way.)


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