With a growing family in the 1950s and ’60s, Jack and Rosalie Young of Wheeling spent many hours in the kitchen preparing holiday feasts for their family. They had nine children.

Norman Rockwell had good intentions in mind when he painted his famous scenes depicting the perfect holiday or family setting. But, reality is not always as kind as the images portrayed on canvas. Family counselors warn that too many people try to live up to the “perfect” Thanksgiving, Christmas or Hanukkah celebration. That can be especially difficult when families are facing the challenges of divorce, blended families and several homes to visit all in one day. Local psychologist William Coburn, who specializes in family counseling, said the best way to avoid too much stress and strain on family ties is to make a plan ahead of time. “When you are dealing with potentially stressful situations, the biggest thing is to have a plan,” Coburn said. “But be realistic with your plans and know that you can’t always please everyone.” Divorced families are especially vulnerable to hurt if the adults do not communicate when making holiday plans. While a fancy vacation at a beach resort might be perfect for some of the family, it might not be the best idea for others who prefer to stay home. Talking things over is best before making plans, Coburn noted. “Adults have to put aside their differences and put the best interest of the children first,” Coburn said. “This shouldn’t just be during the holidays, but all year round. It’s not easy to do, but it’s the right thing to do.