Letters to the Editor
How the Grinch Stole The Bowl Game
All the Eers down in Eer-town liked bowl time a lot
But the Grinch who lived just north of them did not
The Grinch hated bowl time, the whole darn bowl season
He never liked to go, no one knows the reason
It could be that his head wasn't screwed on quite right.
It could be, perhaps, his mustache was too tight.
But I think that the most likely reason of all
May have been that his brain was two sizes too small.
But whatever the reason, his stache or his brain
He stood there on Dec 1, plotting his fame
For he knew every Eer at the tailgate that night
Was making their plans for a New Orleans flight
“And they’re hanging their banners” he snarled with a sneer
“It’s almost bowl season, It’s practically here!”
Then he growled, his grinch fingers twisting his stache
I MUST find a way to stop their big bash
For tomorrow he knew that the Eer girls and boys
Would still be up partying, and Oh the Noise!
Then the Eers would celebrate and have a big feast
For they soon would be champions, or #2 at least!
And then they’d do something he liked least of all
Every Eer down in Eer-town, the tall and the small
Would stand close together, with the musket ringing
Take Me Home, Country Roads they would be singing
The more the Grinch thought, “I must stop this whole thing!
“Why for fifty-five years I’ve put up with it now!
I must stop this from coming, But How?”
Then he got an idea, an awful idea
So he loaded the line and he had them attack
It’s was a ramshackle plan, it hadn’t worked before
But it stopped #1, though their quarterback was sore
Then he rode back up North, with the Eers dream in tow
He thought surely this would make them feel low
“Pooh-pooh to the Eers”, he was grinch-ish-ly humming
“They’re finding out now, no championship is coming”
“They’re just waking up! I know just what they’ll do!
“Their mouths will hang open a minute or two
“The all the Eers down in Eer-town will all cry BOO-HOO!”
“That’s a noise,” grinned the Grinch,
“That I simply must hear!”
So he paused. And the Grinch put a hand to his ear.
And he did hear a sound rising over the snow.
It started in low. Then it started to grow...
But the sound wasn’t sad!
Why, this sound sounded merry!
It couldn’t be so!
But it WAS merry! VERY!
He stared down at Eer-town!
The Grinch popped his eyes!
Then he shook!
What he saw was a shocking surprise!
Every Eer down in Eer-town, the tall and the small,
Was singing! Without any New Orleans at all!
He HADN’T stopped their Fiesta from coming!
IT CAME!
Somehow or other, it came just the same!
And the Grinch, with his grinch-feet ice-cold in the snow,
Stood puzzling and puzzling: “How could it be so?
“It came without banners, it came without flags”
“It came without National Championship tags”
And he puzzled for hours, ’till his puzzler was sore.
But the Grinch hadn’t thought of something, that’s sure.
Because, you see, Eers and Grinchs are both U.S. born
But being a Mountaineer means a whole lot more!
Jim Layton
Pittsburgh
But the Grinch who lived just north of them did not
The Grinch hated bowl time, the whole darn bowl season
He never liked to go, no one knows the reason
It could be that his head wasn't screwed on quite right.
It could be, perhaps, his mustache was too tight.
But I think that the most likely reason of all
May have been that his brain was two sizes too small.
But whatever the reason, his stache or his brain
He stood there on Dec 1, plotting his fame
For he knew every Eer at the tailgate that night
Was making their plans for a New Orleans flight
“And they’re hanging their banners” he snarled with a sneer
“It’s almost bowl season, It’s practically here!”
Then he growled, his grinch fingers twisting his stache
I MUST find a way to stop their big bash
For tomorrow he knew that the Eer girls and boys
Would still be up partying, and Oh the Noise!
Then the Eers would celebrate and have a big feast
For they soon would be champions, or #2 at least!
And then they’d do something he liked least of all
Every Eer down in Eer-town, the tall and the small
Would stand close together, with the musket ringing
Take Me Home, Country Roads they would be singing
The more the Grinch thought, “I must stop this whole thing!
“Why for fifty-five years I’ve put up with it now!
I must stop this from coming, But How?”
Then he got an idea, an awful idea
So he loaded the line and he had them attack
It’s was a ramshackle plan, it hadn’t worked before
But it stopped #1, though their quarterback was sore
Then he rode back up North, with the Eers dream in tow
He thought surely this would make them feel low
“Pooh-pooh to the Eers”, he was grinch-ish-ly humming
“They’re finding out now, no championship is coming”
“They’re just waking up! I know just what they’ll do!
“Their mouths will hang open a minute or two
“The all the Eers down in Eer-town will all cry BOO-HOO!”
“That’s a noise,” grinned the Grinch,
“That I simply must hear!”
So he paused. And the Grinch put a hand to his ear.
And he did hear a sound rising over the snow.
It started in low. Then it started to grow...
But the sound wasn’t sad!
Why, this sound sounded merry!
It couldn’t be so!
But it WAS merry! VERY!
He stared down at Eer-town!
The Grinch popped his eyes!
Then he shook!
What he saw was a shocking surprise!
Every Eer down in Eer-town, the tall and the small,
Was singing! Without any New Orleans at all!
He HADN’T stopped their Fiesta from coming!
IT CAME!
Somehow or other, it came just the same!
And the Grinch, with his grinch-feet ice-cold in the snow,
Stood puzzling and puzzling: “How could it be so?
“It came without banners, it came without flags”
“It came without National Championship tags”
And he puzzled for hours, ’till his puzzler was sore.
But the Grinch hadn’t thought of something, that’s sure.
Because, you see, Eers and Grinchs are both U.S. born
But being a Mountaineer means a whole lot more!
Jim Layton
Pittsburgh
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