This is a tough one. Today would have been our mother’s 93rd birthday. And with Mother’s Day weekend upon us, we are doubly reminded of the nearly two-year absence of our matriarch. Mother’s Day always focused around all the moms in our families and she was the center of the attention.

Her front porch would be crowded with hanging baskets and inside, her tables would be laden with still more flowers and candy. She loved it all. And all those gifts from her 12 children earned her some bragging rights around the regular bridge table. She is missed today and every day.

The baby boomer generation has been fortunate to have its mothers live longer than previous generations. However, losing mom well into her 90s or older leaves a void not easily filled.

Moms (and dads) are living longer today thanks to better nutrition and healthier lifestyles. In exchange we need to make plans for their care as they and we age. The women who took care of us into adulthood now need us to care for them. The role reversal, however, is not always easy on either side of the walker or wheelchair. It’s a matter of maintaining the dignity and respect they’ve held dear all of their lives.

Thousands of books have been written on how to raise a child. From Dr. Spock to Dr. Oz, there is advice for every parent’s concerns when bringing up baby. But, no amount of books or videos or online advice really prepares you for all that goes along with raising kids. It’s a lot of trial and error and good old-fashioned luck.

The same can be said for taking care of our elderly moms and dads. They deserve our continued respect and treatment even when it becomes difficult. The aging process can be as challenging for the kids as it is for the parents because both are letting go of what used to be — without really knowing what’s ahead.

Whatever coming days bring, tomorrow is still Mom’s day. For many moms it will be a day of celebrating with a special brunch or dinner. Children and grandchildren will surround them. Millions of flowers and greeting cards will have been purchased by tomorrow morning.

Phone calls and Facetime will overwhelm phone lines and satellite connections. Hugs and kisses will be exchanged. Clergy members will give special blessings for mothers in churches and temples.

But for some, Mother’s Day is one of the most difficult days of the year to face. Some dread the day because of the loss of a child, either born or unborn. Others live with the unknown of a child given up to adoption and mourn the loss of motherhood. Still others lament family strife that keeps them and their children apart. There should be a special prayer offered for all of these women, too.

Have a blessed Mother’s Day and hold tight those who mean the most to you.

Heather Ziegler can be reached via email at hziegler@theintelligencer.net.