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Who's Watching the Babysitter?

October 15, 2013 - Heather Ziegler
When our son was about 5 months old, he rolled off our bed as I reached across the bed in the other direction to

retrieve a diaper. He fell face first onto the soft cushioning of our large basset hound "Pumper." The dog never

flinched as if he knew he was needed at that very moment. Our son only cried for about 10 seconds as the fall scared

him but did not injure him.

I was the one who cried longer and louder, feeling like the worst mother in the world. It was only a second in

lapse of judgment that allowed our son to roll off the bed. It never happened again. Some things stay with you, lesson

learned. But for some women, the lapse of judgment goes on way too long. In the news recently there have been

several stories about infants and young children dying at the hands of their mothers' boyfriends acting as babysitters.

The actual fathers do not often appear in the picture. These are children not born of the boyfriends. They may act as if

they are interested in the kids, but their actions say otherwise.

I was very fortunate to have loving and trusted

family members to watch our son if the need arose. When he was 2, our son went to a licensed day care facility that

proved to be a good fit for all of us as my husband and I worked different shifts at times.

I was the only parent at the time who took the day care officials up on their offer to spend an entire day at the facilty

with our son so I would know how it works. I even spent the nap time there. It was well worth the time because both

my son and the day care workers knew I was serious about his proper care. I often showed up at various times of the day when I could arrange it so I could truly see how the center

operated. Paying for decent child care until our son was in school fulltime was a challenge. It was expensive but I

would have sold my car to make sure he was being cared for in a safe and nurturing atmosphere. We ate a lot of

meatloaf during those days. You just do what you have to do. Maybe some women are not so fortunate to have

such arrangements. But our children are defenseless until grown and look to us for their protection. Young, immature

men who have no vested interest in someone's else kids are not good candidates as babysitters. That's not to say

there are not exceptions to the rule. The police blotters are proving this is a grave problem in our country. No

paycheck is worth having your child beaten to death by "your man."

I don't know how you turn the tide of this problem, but perhaps we all have to be better caretakers of all the

children. Let's keep our eyes and ears open -- for the sake of the children.


Article Comments



Feb-16-14 6:29 PM

YEAH BUT.. I knew of some so called men that go with or marry the woman just for ONE REASON,, and im sure you know what that reason is. They dont give a rats ass about her kids, AND in a way i blame the woman also.She should let it be known that its a package deal.Im sure she could tell by going with that dead beat if he had any feeling for her kids.If he didnt treat the kids as if they were his own , than throw his butt out in the street.ID rather be alone, than trust my kids with someone that didnt love them as if they were his kids.Too many guys like momma because she has a nice body, and*****with her kids..


Oct-17-13 10:02 AM

The women that have these types of boyfriends typically are the same way or close a blind eye because they would much rather have someone in their life.

I know a man with kids that is marrying a woman that from everything I have heard, she could care less about his kids but he still is marrying her, so the same is true about some men with kids. Now I would never suspect her to hurt them physically, but I wouldnt be suprised about emotional harm.

Kids come first, they didnt ask to come into this world, you brought them into it and have a duty and responsibility to make their life as good as you can and love and care for them.


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