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Try Keeping Up With A Mother

May 12, 2013
By MIKE MYER , The Intelligencer / Wheeling News-Register

There is no such thing as a mother who doesn't work, of course. Anyone who thinks so has never prayed for Divine intervention to stop a baby's crying.

So today, on the one day a year we set aside to thank mothers for their 24/7/365 devotion, all of them richly deserve our gratitude.

Let us be especially grateful to moms who must hold down two (or more) jobs, however. Job No. 1 is taking care of the kids, of course. Job No. 2 is ensuring there's food on the table for them.

Approximately two-thirds of American mothers work outside the home, according to a study prepared for Congress last year. In West Virginia, the percentage is 59. In Ohio, it is 67.

Consider the schedule of a typical working mom with a small child:

6 a.m. - Arise, gulp down coffee and some breakfast, then change baby's diaper and spend some quality time feeding the child from a bottle.

7 a.m. - Take child to daycare or a relative's house.

8 a.m. to 4:30 p.m. - Report to your wage-earning job and hope the phone doesn't ring to alert you of a problem with the baby.

5 p.m. - Pick baby up and go home.

5:30 p.m. - Feed child some baby food, then put her in secure place (moms know what this means) while you spend 45 minutes frantically washing dishes and laundry.

6:45 p.m. - Pick up baby, who put off crying fit until you'd washed the last baby bottle. Spend 30 minutes rocking, walking, singing, talking and searching the floor for the pacifier.

7:15 p.m. - Time for another bottle feeding.

8 p.m. - It's bath time.

8:30 p.m. - Read a book to the child. OK - don't really read the book, just try to keep him from eating it. Then, it's time for more baby food out of a jar.

9 p.m. - Baby gets to watch some children's TV while you have dinner.

9:30 p.m. - Bedtime bottle, followed by more rocking and singing.

10:30 p.m. - Bedtime for baby.

1 a.m. - Baby wants more bottle.

3 a.m. - Baby just wants to cry until you change her diaper and rock her back to sleep.

8:15 a.m. - Explain to co-workers why you've been looking really tired lately.

I read an article once, about whether angels really visit Earth. I couldn't understand why the author missed the obvious ...

Happy Mother's Day.

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