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No Winners In This Fight

I will preface today's column by telling you that no matter what follows, there will be no winners. What I am writing about will more than likely draw empathy from some and have others condemning me, too. In this business, you kind of get used to that. If there is anything I wish to accomplish in writing these weekly columns is to just give my readers something to think about, sometimes entertaining, other times serious topics. Today is a serious topic. Let me tell you what I witnessed recently. I need not disclose the location, most of you can guess, but the other day I was ...

Don’t Let Preconceived Notions About Aging Limit Your Potential

DEAR DR. ROACH: After reading several of your columns, where readers asked if they are too old for some activity, I wanted to make older adults aware of their untapped reservoir of energy and ability. I notice that most tend to be hesitant to try various activities thinking they are probably too old to attempt it. I am a retired music teacher; I am not an athlete. I never participated in sports, and I was the “runt of the litter.” I started weight training when I turned 50 and have continued to experience the ability to lift even heavier loads for the past 20 years. It makes me ...

Newly Sober Mom Regrets Pain She Caused Her Family

DEAR ABBY: After smoking marijuana for 20 years, I quit two days ago. My head is starting to clear now, and things are coming into focus. I missed so much, and I feel terrible about it. How many times did I say no to my kids because I was lazy? How many times have I yelled at them for just asking a question? My 6-year-old would have this frightened look because he wanted something and I yelled because he interrupted me from doing nothing. I was at my in-laws’ on Father’s Day and started yelling at my husband for getting mad at me because I told his father, “Heck, you’re not ...

Teenage Brothers Fight Over Friends

Q: How do we stop our two teenage sons from fighting over a girl? "Jake" (outgoing 16-year-old) has struck up a "friendship" with a girl who "John" (shy 17-year-old) has liked for months. This is a longtime pattern, although not over girls. "John" accuses his brother of stealing all his friends and says he hates him. "Jake" doesn't care and says he's free to befriend anyone he chooses. What can we do? Jim: I think this is an opportunity for both of your sons to mature. "John" needs to stop blaming and take responsibility for his own friendships. And "Jake" needs to start treating his ...

Optimal Blood Pressure Goal Needs to Be Individualized

DEAR DR. ROACH: My father is 91 years old, and I am concerned that his elevated blood pressure isn’t being properly addressed. Recently, it seems to run in the mid-170s to mid-80s (176/86). He has a number of health issues, such as a kidney stent every three months, diabetic neuropathy and a transient ischemic attack. He takes metoprolol (25 mg in the morning and evening). I sent a note to his doctor suggesting his blood pressure meds need to be reevaluated, and the doctor’s response was to check his blood pressure several times daily for a month then let him know the average. He ...

Deleted Texts To New Friend Arouse Wife’s Suspicions

DEAR ABBY: My husband is currently at a job that, at first, he complained was a “drag.” It later became a place he seemed to be OK working at. A new male employee was hired — a man who is on his second marriage — and he became friendly with my husband. Over the last few months I have noticed my husband texting him quite often during his days off, including very late at night. One day I confronted him after I checked his phone to see what they were texting and saw he had deleted some messages, even those he had shared with me as they were texting. He admitted that he had ...