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Guilt Remains 40 Years After Job Reference Was Withheld

DEAR ABBY: About 40 years ago, I did someone an injustice, and I have felt guilty ever since. I worked for a consulting firm in Washington, D.C., that fired an accounting clerk who was in my small office. I didn’t know why she was fired, and I never heard a cross word exchanged between her and her supervisor. She seemed to be capable and friendly. A prospective employer called me for a reference, and because my company told me that it did not respond to requests for references, I didn’t give her one. Ever since, I have wished I had shared what I knew about her. If I was allowed a ...

There’s More to a COVID-19 Test Than Positive or Negative

DEAR DR. ROACH: Considering things I’ve heard on the news regarding the accuracy of the COVID-19 tests for both the virus and the antibodies, what are the chances of a false positive or false negative? I understand that there are different “brands” of tests, for lack of a better word, and some are better than others. Would it be wise to get tested with more than one brand just to make sure? — A.W. ANSWER: Many lay people tend to think of diagnostic tests as perfectly accurate. The doctor does a test for a condition, and if the test is positive, you have it, and if it’s ...

Favorite Son’s Jabs at Brother’s Wife Causing Family Friction

DEAR ABBY: I married “Darius” two years ago. I have had problems with my brother-in-law ever since Darius and I first began dating five years ago. From my husband’s perspective, his parents have always favored his younger brother, “Adonis.” “Anything goes” is their attitude where he is concerned. Adonis takes things without asking, lies and constantly makes disrespectful comments toward us. He was never reprimanded as a child, and now he’s an adult (24), the sniping continues. A few months ago, he showed up unannounced at my home and insulted a guest who was ...

Good Fences Make Good Neighbors of Humans, Wildlife

Fences are the best way to prevent deer and other foraging animals from damaging gardens, landscape plants and orchards, but they can be expensive, and difficult or time-consuming to install. There are other wildlife deterrents, but they might not work as well, so be prepared to share. The ...

Coffee Ole

Dear Readers: Want to do something a little different for guests when you’re serving them coffee? Try my “Coffee Ole.” It’s easy and takes very little time. Make a regular cup of coffee and add a little extra milk — regular or skim — and a tablespoon of powdered milk. Add a little sugar or artificial sweetener to taste. Put this mixture in the blender and blend until foamy. Then microwave in a microwavable cup for a few seconds, and ole, a steaming cup of delicious coffee! This easy-to-make treat is found in my pamphlet “Heloise’s Flavored Coffees and Teas.” To get a ...

Dad Feels Helpless To Mend Teenager’s Crisis of Identity

DEAR ABBY: My 14-year-old daughter recently came out of the closet, and it has made my husband and me quite upset. She says she is “bicurious, pansexual and polyamorous.” She now insists everyone call her by a gender-neutral name, gave herself a side shave and dyed her hair pink after we repeatedly told her not to. She wants us to refer to her as “they” and not “she.” Boys used to like her, and she used to have friends, but she threw it all away to be “unique.” You may think we should let her be true to herself, but in the process, she is disrespecting us and ruining her ...