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Mixed Emotions On Mother’s Day

It’s an undeniable fact: we all have or have had a mother. That doesn’t mean everyone born has known his or her mother — for various reasons.

Celebrating Mother’s Day each May can be a time of warm and fuzzy emotions for moms and their offspring. It’s a day of flowers, cards, dinners and spending time with family.

However, it also can be a most difficult 24 hours for women who have lost a child whether from miscarriage, illness, accident, violence, drug overdose or suicide. Birth mothers forced to relinquish a child — for whatever reason — also suffer emotional distress on this day. And women longing for a child will cringe a bit today. Please keep them all in mind this Mother’s Day.

No matter the circumstance, mothers never forget their children. Experts tell us, too, that a child never forgets the sound of his or her mother’s voice.

Mothers aren’t always blood related. There are scores of children who have been lovingly raised by adoptive mothers and foster moms. And don’t forget other relatives who have stepped into the role of mom when necessary, including grandmothers, aunts, cousins, etc.

In some households, there is no female parent, but there are loving parents just the same.

Dads sometimes serve as both parents when there is no mother present.

Let’s face it, raising children is the most trying and rewarding job a parent will ever experience.

Some do a better job at it than others despite the fact that there are thousands of books telling us how to raise a baby.

Speaking from experience, I can tell you there are no books or videos that prepare parents for everything involved in child rearing. Just as every mother is different, so is every child.

Mothers do have some built-in “mom-sense” that often guides us through the rough patches.

My own mother — who raised 12 children — said that in time, a mother “just knows” when a baby is hungry, tired or in pain. She spent a lifetime trying to sort all of that out with so many kids, and in doing so, taught all of us something about raising children.

She was a strong believer in rocking babies to sleep, and rocking chairs were found in several rooms of the house.

She said fresh air and digging in the dirt pile in the backyard were essential for building a child’s immunities.

While not all of her motherly ways were looked upon as Dr. Spock-worthy, we all survived bouts of measles, mumps, chicken pox, cuts and bruises … and one another.

If you are lucky enough to have known your mom and she did a pretty good job at bringing you up, I hope you let her know — and not just today.

Heather Ziegler can be reached via email at hziegler@theintelligencer.net.


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