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Perfect Guy on the Outside Becomes Abusive at Home

DEAR ABBY: I have been with “Dylan” for three years, engaged for two. I have a lot of insecurities about it. We met right after my husband’s death. Dylan was the perfect guy in the beginning. Looking back, I realize there were a lot of red flags. He spends most of his time on Facebook or talking about his high school years. He is also secretive. He acts like the world’s nicest guy around others, but when we’re alone, he calls me stupid and insecure. I never knew what a narcissist was before, but I believe he is one. I built a business, which has done very well. I’m ...

Best Time to Plant a Tree? Probably Now

Planting a tree is one of the best things you can do to help the planet, and these days it's gotten easier. There's a better understanding now of what trees need, including when they should generally be planted (the fall). Why plant trees? It's well-known that trees mitigate global warming ...

Better Work Communication

Dear Heloise: I wanted to share some things I’ve learned to be more productive at work: * When I make a mistake (which we all do) and someone calls me out on it, instead of saying: “I’m sorry; I made a mistake. I completely missed that!” I now say: “Good catch! I’ll update the file. Thanks for letting me know.” * When scheduling an appointment, instead of saying, “Are you available at 10 a.m. or 1 p.m.?” I’ll ask, “When are you available?” * If it takes me a while to answer an email I don’t say, “I’m sorry for the delay.” I instead say, “Thanks for ...

Man Contemplates Adopting the Stepdaughter He Adores

DEAR ABBY: I am thinking about asking my stepdaughter “Gwen” (37 years old with a husband and three kids) if she would like me to adopt her. I married her mother when Gwen was 2. We divorced when she was 8 or 9, so we were out of contact for about 25 years. Gwen really dislikes her father. Her mother and I have patched things up, so much so that we’ve been on a couple of vacations together. Gwen has been along on both. We have a special bond that goes back to the first time I met her. She was a terror, and her mother, grandmother and the rest of the family had basically given ...

Nightly Dinner With Sister is Too Much Togetherness

DEAR ABBY: I am 25 and live with my parents. My 28-year-old sister lives in a condo about 10 minutes away. She just graduated from school and moved back here, which means she doesn’t have many friends in the city. For the last five months, she has been coming over for dinner like clockwork every day and every weekend. I’m still finding ways to be social during quarantine, but my sister doesn’t seem able to find other means to meet people. Seeing this much of her is, well, too much. She demands attention, practically forces us to entertain her and gets upset when the dinner my ...

Time Well Spent

Today’s Sound On is about making the best of it. Dear Heloise: Many of us are complaining about being stuck at home due to the coronavirus. Maybe it’s time we all took stock of what we can do while at home. I’ve been talking about painting our living room for the past five years. Now I’ve had the time to do it. A fresh coat of paint makes the room look clean and new. For the first time, I took up oil painting and discovered how much I enjoy it. I’ve also had the time to try out some new recipes, and now we’re eating healthier meals made from scratch. COVID-19 is ...