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News of Another Pregnancy Is Unwelcome Surprise to Stepdad

DEAR ABBY: My wife of 10 years keeps all kinds of secrets from me. We let her adult daughter, “Maude,” move in. Maude is 35 and has one daughter. I recently found out that Maude is pregnant again. I heard they had decided to “surprise me” with the news. (The father is the same guy as before.) I’m tired of being the third wheel, and I think it’s time for me to call it quits. What do you think? — STAY OR GO IN CONNECTICUT DEAR STAY OR GO: I’m glad you asked. What I think is that you are outnumbered. Maude should be living on her own or with the father of her children. If ...

Listening Supports Friend After Loss of Family Member

Q: How can I best reach out to someone who has lost a family member to suicide? My good friend's son recently took his own life, and I'm at a loss as to what I should do or say to her. Jim: First, recognize that in addition to her grief, your friend is probably working her way through a huge amount of guilt and self-incrimination. Parents of suicide victims tend to blame themselves (and sometimes each other). They run through the "what ifs" a thousand times in their minds. They tell themselves they ought to have seen what was coming and should have done something to prevent it. But ...

What Is the Value In Testing a Healthy Person for COVID-19?

DEAR DR. ROACH: In the coronavirus pandemic, many people are getting tested for 1) active illness and 2) antibodies. What’s the value of an asymptomatic person getting tested for an active infection? Do we even know if having antibodies gives you any protection? I’m reluctant to get tested for either if it can’t really alleviate the need to distance. What am I overlooking? — B.E. ANSWER: You weren’t missing anything. There’s really no reason to be checking for the virus (the swab test is a PCR test looking for active infection, while antibodies look for past infection) ...

Happy Love Life Turns Best Friend Into a Debbie Downer

DEAR ABBY: I have been lucky enough to have fallen madly in love with the most wonderful man in the world. We have been together for two years and have been living together for almost a year. I’m in my mid-30s; he’s in his mid-40s. We both have had plenty of experience in love — enough to feel sure that we’ve found the person we want to spend the rest of our lives with. My best friend has been very disparaging of our relationship and makes rude comments about it. If I tell her how happy we are in spite of the pandemic, she says it’s because we’re still in the “honeymoon ...

No More Weevils

Dear Heloise: How do I get rid of weevils in my pantry? — Janice in Indiana Janice, first take everything out of your pantry and cabinets. Destroy boxes and bags that have any trace of weevil activity in them. Check everything, including cereal, flour, spices, dry pet food, pasta, dry beans, etc. To destroy unhatched eggs, place items in which weevils are not visible in the freezer for four days. Next, scrub your shelves with hot, soapy water. After that, spray shelves and doors with an insecticide, making sure you get every crevice. Close the doors and leave the pantry and ...

Toddler Uses Foul Language She Learned From Her Dad

DEAR ABBY: Although he has never hit me, my husband has been emotionally and verbally abusive ever since our wedding five years ago. One of his favorite names for me when he’s angry is “F----n’ B----.” I know this is my fault because I have tolerated it. Today, my 2 1/2-year-old daughter (who is usually a good girl) threw a tantrum and called me the same name twice. I try to discipline her, but she doesn’t understand that she’s saying something bad if Daddy can call me that. How can she? He blames me for her talking that way, saying he hasn’t called me that in a month. ...