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Out of the Box

Dear Readers: In a column last week we discussed what should go in your safe deposit box. Today, the subject is what should stay out of the safe deposit box. Let’s check it: * Your original Will and Letters of Instruction — When you die, the bank will secure your safe deposit box, and the executor will have to affirm their right to access your information. * Cash — If you need it in a hurry, you may not be able to get at it. Put cash in an interest-bearing checking or savings account. * Passport — In case of an emergency trip, you might not be able to get it quickly. * ...

A Pillar of the Community Is Less Admired at Home

DEAR ABBY: I have been married for 14 years to a man a lot of people in our town think has no flaws. He helps a lot of people, and he is also a pastor, but he ignores me and takes me for granted, personally, emotionally and sexually. He’d rather watch TV until he falls asleep on the couch. He looks at pornography online, and I catch him often. Even if he’s busy at work, he finds time for everybody but me. He always has excuses. Since I married him, I have supported him and have gone the extra mile in all aspects — his work, church activities. I have waited on him and made ...

No Winners In This Fight

I will preface today's column by telling you that no matter what follows, there will be no winners. What I am writing about will more than likely draw empathy from some and have others condemning me, too. In this business, you kind of get used to that. If there is anything I wish to accomplish in writing these weekly columns is to just give my readers something to think about, sometimes entertaining, other times serious topics. Today is a serious topic. Let me tell you what I witnessed recently. I need not disclose the location, most of you can guess, but the other day I was ...

Don’t Let Preconceived Notions About Aging Limit Your Potential

DEAR DR. ROACH: After reading several of your columns, where readers asked if they are too old for some activity, I wanted to make older adults aware of their untapped reservoir of energy and ability. I notice that most tend to be hesitant to try various activities thinking they are probably too old to attempt it. I am a retired music teacher; I am not an athlete. I never participated in sports, and I was the “runt of the litter.” I started weight training when I turned 50 and have continued to experience the ability to lift even heavier loads for the past 20 years. It makes me ...

Newly Sober Mom Regrets Pain She Caused Her Family

DEAR ABBY: After smoking marijuana for 20 years, I quit two days ago. My head is starting to clear now, and things are coming into focus. I missed so much, and I feel terrible about it. How many times did I say no to my kids because I was lazy? How many times have I yelled at them for just asking a question? My 6-year-old would have this frightened look because he wanted something and I yelled because he interrupted me from doing nothing. I was at my in-laws’ on Father’s Day and started yelling at my husband for getting mad at me because I told his father, “Heck, you’re not ...

Teenage Brothers Fight Over Friends

Q: How do we stop our two teenage sons from fighting over a girl? "Jake" (outgoing 16-year-old) has struck up a "friendship" with a girl who "John" (shy 17-year-old) has liked for months. This is a longtime pattern, although not over girls. "John" accuses his brother of stealing all his friends and says he hates him. "Jake" doesn't care and says he's free to befriend anyone he chooses. What can we do? Jim: I think this is an opportunity for both of your sons to mature. "John" needs to stop blaming and take responsibility for his own friendships. And "Jake" needs to start treating his ...